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Tantric Massage Vs Tantric Sex – What’s the difference?

gay sex and gay massage canberra australia

Many people ask me what’s the difference between Tantric Massage and Tantric Sex. It’s a valid question. Massages can be sexy and sexual. And sex can include loving sensual or erotic nurturing touch. I guess the main difference is that when two people are making love or having connected sex they are there to pleasure each other. There is an unspoken contract that both will ‘work’ to fulfil their partner’s desires or needs.


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Illness and Tantric Touch

healing touchToday I received this email from a man who is suffering from Parkinson’s Disease. He has good and bad days. Muscle cramps and spasms. He has some uncontrollable shaking and sometimes his body ‘freezes’ on him.

You came to my home the other day and gave me a massage. I just wanted to thank you for the best massage experience I have ever had. I can’t put into words how it was so much better than any one has done before. Again thank you.

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Lie Back and Think of Tantra Sensual Massage


My specific way of giving Tantric Massage and touch has been described as exceptionally healing. Many clients have found that the intense relaxation achieved through the massage has relieved years of their back pain and shoulder aches.

The main reason for this is that when the body is sexually aroused it is flooded with many chemicals and hormones: dopamine, adrenalin, oxytocin, and cortisol. These are the main ingredients that make sexual arousal both intensely pleasurable but also intensely addictive.

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Sensual, beautiful, erotic tantric massage can soothe away your shame.

Gay Tantric Massage Healing

One of the most debilitating emotions that we can hold is shame. It is for the most part elusive and we have managed to cleverly avoid it with all sorts of mind strategies. We all have secret places deep in our psyche where shame is lurking. Where one finds sexual intimacy, sexual pleasure and sexual desire, one will often find elements of shame. They seem to have been merged from an early age. Of course they alter from culture to culture. The Scandinavians, for example, do not have the same amount of self-consciousness as other European cultures when it comes to nudity. It is part of their culture, a deliberate part of their culture, to expose the crippling effects of excessive modesty.

I often joke with my clients when they are booking in for a tantric massage, and are perhaps nervous about being naked, that ‘all will be revealed – literally.’ I pride myself on welcoming all shapes and sizes, ages and levels of fitness. There are some tantric massage therapists who simply will not massage older or larger clients because they are limited in their technique etc. I take a different approach … I am massaging the person, their being, their heart and soul, not just their body.

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Managing Surprise & Expectation within Tantric Massage

Tantric Massage

The first thing that all good massage therapists should do is ensure that their clients are wholeheartedly welcome and that they feel safe in a clean and aesthetic environment. This is how the nervous system first relaxes. It uses the senses to gauge its safety. When I meet a client for the first time I ensure that they have enough information in order for them to relax their nervous system. Most of the relaxation of the central nervous system happens involuntarily. It can be learned and it’s something that Tantra teaches. Through breathing, presence, body awareness and mediation it is possible to self-regulate the nervous system.

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Most Recent Blog Entry

Thanks to ‘Sex and the City’ the word Tantra is out in the mainstream and has a relatively positive connotation. Miranda might not agree with you as she sits unamused with some gushing of ‘old faithful’ on her face. But on the whole – Tantra and the Kama Sutra are becoming more and more practiced in the West.

Many of my clients are of course curious about the sexual aspect of Tantra and that is discussed and explored in-depth and in all my sessions. Although there is so much more to Tantra – it is a way of life. I work only Man-to-Man and explore what it means to be fully aware of the heart and sexual energy. We use the breath and long exhalations through the mouth and we keep the throat open.

My particular style of tantric massage can melt many a frozen or broken heart. It can resuscitate a bruised or lonely heart. It can put fire in your loins and a great big smile on your face. Tantric Massage should focus on the awakening of the primal life force … in Hinduism it is called ‘PRANA’. Which is the breath of life, a life-giving force. Prana is seen as a universal energy, which flows in currents in and around the body.

I only work with Male-to-Male Tantric massage because this is what I know. I do have many heterosexual and bi-sexual men come and try the massage, they are more ‘curious’ and come to explore their sexuality in a highly confidential and safe space. But for the most part I work with other gay men.

My aim is for each client to remember that the primal body knows how to make love. Sexual energy is Yogic by nature – often during the massage you will be amazed at what your spine and hips are capable of. If followed, and not driven, sexual energy can open the powerful and natural primal medicine cabinet that is inside every one of us. There is a great chemistry that floods the body with sexual tantric massage.

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Tantric Massage savours the ancient elements of body wisdom and healing combined with powerful erotic, sensual, remedial and sexual touch. Tantric Massage savours the ancient elements of body wisdom and healing combined with powerful erotic, sensual, remedial and sexual touch.
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