Managing Surprise & Expectation within Tantric Massage

Tantric Massage

The first thing that all good massage therapists should do is ensure that their clients are wholeheartedly welcome and that they feel safe in a clean and aesthetic environment. This is how the nervous system first relaxes. It uses the senses to gauge its safety. When I meet a client for the first time I ensure that they have enough information in order for them to relax their nervous system. Most of the relaxation of the central nervous system happens involuntarily. It can be learned and it’s something that Tantra teaches. Through breathing, presence, body awareness and mediation it is possible to self-regulate the nervous system.

But a lot of it is instinct and intuition. The tantric masseur is working with your energy – supporting you to ‘let-go’ totally. I always look for some invitation, some entry, the right place and time to start. This usually takes less than five minutes, sometimes a little longer but we always get there.

Once the client is settled and in some place of trust I can then introduce elements of surprise. There is naturally an element of surprise when using a combination of remedial, sensual and erotic touch in intuitive flow The client starts face down and cannot see me – he does not know what I will do next. This of course is thrilling, exciting and yet for some it is a little scary. Through many, many years as a therapist I have come to delicately navigate each client’s unique blueprint.  I watch, listen and feel into each client’s individual needs and pace.

I’m astounded just how different we all are. Our experiences both positive and negative shape us. Other aspects that create a unique conversation with my hands and the client’s body are: particular level of fitness, opinion of self and self-worth, our age and our level of self-awareness, our ability to trust and take risks, our ability to set boundaries etc.  So the session is predominately a tactile therapeutic session and sometimes, as I have the skills, clients are free to explore the psycology of their sexual make-up. I ask my clients to witness their physical, emotional and psychological bodies.

I ask that my clients trust me in their tantric massage journey. In the hundreds of clients I have worked with they have all said that I have surpassed their expectations. In that regard I feel that being clear on my website initially helps this. As Tantric Massage is a direct experience it’s just so difficult to put it into words what it is I actually do. Everyone has a very similar and yet very different experience with me. I intuitively and organically tailor every session for every client … even with regular clients I wait to see what’s going on for them in that moment. I have a loose skeleton that I follow with regards to the massage technique but after that I let it flow and see where we go. In short, I am exceptionally empathic … sometimes I can read a client like and open book and I use this gift to guide my clients to exactly where they need to go. Sometimes we are both surprised and I like that … I have an expectation that I might be surprised and that keeps my work fresh.

I will end this blog the same way that I will end every blog by letting you know that your direct experience of tantric massage will surpass any description that mere words can evoke. However, I will try and keep you informed and curious so that you will trust yourself enough to make a booking with me.

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