Think about this … Everything animate on the planet comes from sex. Humans, animals, insects, fish and foul, the birds, the bees, the flowers and trees – everybody is having sex. One sperm and one egg and probably thirty seconds is all it takes to create most animal life. The plant kingdom has a less orgasmic time of it … nevertheless the male and the female are needed to bear fruit.

With the advent of the Internet and the on-demand free soft and hard-core porn we are bombarded with conflicting messages all designed so that we believe a virtual sex life is far more interesting and exciting than we could make reality. More importantly we believe that we can never live up to these impossible standards. With all these visual aids we should all be having amazing connected sex.

Yet certainly not everyone is having great sex or even good sex. Hell – not everyone is having even average sex. Sex is an art form and every single human has the innate ability to become a great artist. You are born with the tools and the skills. All you have to do is remember them and practice. Gay tantric massage gives you a somatic (direct body) experience and helps to jog your ancient memory.

We often feel just so inferior about our bodies and our performance. So we isolate and have a ‘private’ not shared sex life. Masturbation has become the norm. We’re a society of Internet voyeurs. And as the dopamine and adrenalin pump in the brain and the dick it’s all on, it’s amazing, it’s electric, the rush is going to explode – and after it does, when the heart rate settles and the body slows down, it can often feel very empty. We are often left with a relief from the built up exertion of the dopamine and adrenalin fuelled wank rather than a release of tension that the body needs after a busy modern day. It becomes a vicious cycle of addiction.

If we break that empty feeling down we see we are feeling disconnected and alone. It’s unnatural. Sex is meant to be shared. And if it has to be private it also deserves some more connection – connection with yourself. If you are a habitual wanker and use visual stimuli to get off, then try this … masturbate in the dark, no imagery, and that includes no fantasising. Do the tantric practice of just focussing on the body sensations. Disengage the mind and the fantasy movie in your head. Masturbate slowly with steady out-breaths through the mouth. Be slow and deliberate. See the masturbation as a slow and calm stress relief … not a worked-up workout. And if you can slowly edge and pull back from the orgasm that’s also great training. And if you can forgo the raging urge to cum … I promise you you’ll feel more and more energy throughout your days.

So here’s the big secret … Sex is in our DNA, it’s in every cell of our bodies running around our bodies as primal energy. It’s not so elusive … we have an automated self: the life force that regenerates cells, grows and heals everything from out hair, nails, eyelashes to organs etc. This energy never stops even when we ignore it.

Tantra asks us to pay attention to it. This energy is ancient wisdom. It’s millions of years old. It’s been shaping human evolution for eons. We can trust this ancient feeling. Good sex and especially great sex comes from being present, being mindful, listening to the body instincts not over riding them with the mind. It does not always mean slow sex … think about a runner at high speed pounding over rough terrain. He would know exactly where to place each foot. Primal instinct kicks in. It’s an active presence … a ‘doing’ mindfulness. When you are in flow with your partner the sex can become so in synch it does not matter how raunchy it gets.

You might have an idea that Tantra is new … it might be new to you. But it’s as old as the hills. Trust your ancient body wisdom. Trust your body … it took millions of years to get here.

I will end this blog the same way that I will end every blog by letting you know that your direct experience of tantric massage will surpass any description that mere words can evoke. However, I will try and keep you informed and curious so that you will trust yourself enough to make a booking with me.