Pandemic – Need for Touch

It’s April 2021. Life is changed. The way we meet and connect has changed. Many people are suffering from touch deprivation. But as restrictions are lifting more and more people are finding the benefits of having one close partner. Here are some tips to keep that connection alive and spontaneous. Of course, practise all health and safety guidelines. If either of you is feeling unwell. Do not meet and get covid tested. Let’s stay safe and take care of each other.

So you’ve met a guy that you like. What are the top ten ways to impress, undress and stress-less about getting a second date or even finding that long-term mate?  Believe it or not … Tantric Gay Massage could have all the answers.  Doesn’t matter where you live, Gold-Coast, Sydney,  Canberra, Melbourne or Brisbane, Gay Tantric Massage can honestly help you enjoy your sex life more.

Gay tantric massage or gay sensual touch can help you become fluent in body language. Here are my top ten tips … when you make a booking with me I will demonstrate a lot of this with you or we will talk about it.

No.1 Make contact with yourself. What does that actually mean? It means being aware of your own body. Being sober is the best way to facilitate this but if you are gonna have some dutch courage then limit it. If you can feel your own senses then the chances are you can be more in tune with his too. Do the sensory checklist: feel your heartbeat, feel your breath going in and out of your body, what’s the temperature of the room or the elements on your skin (wind, sun, rain, humidity)? What can you hear? What can you see?  What can you taste? This little checklist can take less than a minute and really put you in your body as opposed to your racing mind.

No.2 Make eye contact with him. So the image on this blog is making some cheeky eye contact. But you’ve already entered the lust highway here. That’s all well and good but maybe wait a bit before you make lustful choices – even when pleasing him. He might walk away thinking that the sex was great but he might not remember anything about you. Make eye contact. Really look at him. Don’t give him the stalker stare … but look into his eyes appropriately during conversation. Especially when clinking glasses and saying cheers. Otherwise its seven years of bad sex.

No.3 Use his name. When we use someone’s name when we are talking to them it really tells them that we are present – engaged. Of course, you can’t say their name too much … that’s just plain weird. But it gives the signal that you see them, hear them and care about them. How many times have you forgotten someone’s name during sex? Not a good look.

No.4 Talking.  The Goldilocks Rule … don’t say too much and don’t say too little. Get it just right. Say just enough. Here’s the clue … always check if your need to say something that matches the listener’s desire to hear it. He might not want to know every time you had great sex with some random guy you met at a nightclub. Be appropriate with what you say, what you share … give him a taste of you. Don’t force-feed him the whole menu in one sitting.

No.5 Listening. The Goldilocks Rule. Conversely, you need to get your listening skills just right too. That old cliché comes in handy here. You might be listening but are you hearing. Most people are listening and responding (thinking of how it relates to them and waiting for a chance to say ‘me too’). When you hear someone it means you give them the stage. Ask opening questions … How did that make you feel? Was it as interesting/frightening/curious as it sounds? You must have been so thrilled? When you are listening and hearing the chances are you’ll remember what they have said. That will score points on the second and third date and so on.

No.6 Honesty.  So often on first dates, we want to show our best sides. We don’t want to overshare are shadow side. And yet it’s just plain honest to also reveal a little bit about your vulnerable side … the part that makes you human. Not some image managed version of yourself. This can be endearing when you can show … You have shit going on like most people but you also have the resources to deal with it appropriately. If you share any vulnerabilities … watch what his response is. Gauge if he is on the same page … did he look at you or look awkwardly away (keep that contact with him and with yourself alive).

No.7. Patience. Here’s something radical. Maybe don’t jump into bed on the first date. But rather at the end of the evening talk about where you are both at. Take the lead. If you are interested in him and would like to see him again … just say that (yes it might be scary but every guy loves confidence and a risk-taker). It’s always much more flattering than a forced sexual advance. When we say, I really want to see you again and I’d like to wait before we have sex, it tells the other person they mean more than just a quick fuck. Ask them how they feel … it might seem like you’re putting them on the spot but hey – they’ll respect you and they’ll get over it. 

No.8 Slow Down. Assuming there’s mutual attraction and mutual consent and you’re going in for the first kiss (terrifying and exhilarating), here’s the secret, slow down. Practice contact with yourself and contact with him. Forget all the porn films you’ve seen. Have an authentic experience listening and witnessing your body biology and chemistry. Listen to his heart rate … feel his responses. Enjoy the life force and sexually energy coursing through your veins. Resist the urge to grab or grope – instead be subtle. Be tender. Feel frustrated as lust and primal urges arrive. It seems a little old fashioned now but waiting used to be such a thrill. Instant gratification fires dopamine and adrenalin and cortisol. Which can be stressful for the body. Cultivating longer sessions of caress, tenderness and sexual arousal help heal and nourish the body.

No. 9. Communication. So it’s time to get naked. Time to slip into bed and into each other. This is where most people get tongue-tied … awkward, uncomfortable … the best thing to do is to keep open communication going. That doesn’t always mean asking questions or needing validating. For me, there’s nothing worse than when I’m in the throes of ecstasy (visible and audible) because my sex partner is doing such a great job and they stop and say, ‘Do you like that?’ Communicate with words and Q&A at the flirting and getting to know each other stage. Then let the body do the rest of the talking.  Having said that … find the confidence to gently say, that’s not working for me, or like that … keep going etc.

No.10 Ride the Roller Coaster. When we meet a new potential long term sexual partner there are two main phases; 1) Anticipation and Excitement then a little while later comes 2) Fear and Insecurities. These four elements will take you on quite a roller coaster. Depending on your age, level of experience, your background, upbringing, parental love and guidance … you are gonna have a very unique blueprint for navigating love, lust and intimate relating. This is where the true magic of tantric sex and sensual tantric massage and connection can really help. Touch can say so much. If we learn how to master our sexual energy and take care of each other we can have a much more fun and nurturing time with sex and love. We can even break up more tenderly. Remember that we are all in this together. Everyone is doing their best. Be kind to yourself and your partner or partners. How long you stay on a roller coaster really is dependent on your relationship with your own integrity.

I hope this helps … in-to-me-you-see (intimacy) is a human need. Treasure it. And I look forward to working with you in a tantric massage session where a lot of this is just experienced through the body and not the mind.

Wild Connection

Gay Tantric Massage is becoming more and more popular. I am often asked to teach my work and I’m gearing up to that. It’s my vision to have a gay tantric massage retreat somewhere exotic to enhance the erotic. Somewhere safe to explore our sensuality in strength and vulnerability. I offer the best gay massage Byron Bay and I also travel offering the best gay massage Sydney and the best gay massage Melbourne.

There are many reasons I believe that Gay Tantric Massage is gaining accelerated interested but the main one is timing. Gay men in the Western world have never had it so good. Sure there’s still a long way to go with equal rights and the public’s general perceptions but nevertheless, we live in relatively unprecedented historic times for gay men and women.

So we’ve been let out of the darkness and into the light. Into the light of the candy store that is … and a lot of men are still stuck there gorging on anything they can get their hands on. And why not? It’s fun and exciting and addictive. But the rush and the thrill will dwindle. It’s the nature of this human body. And that’s what is happening – gay men are leaving the candy store and re-joining the rest of society in the outside world. But something has to replace that rush … that intensity of feeling. And that something can only be true human feeling connection. It’s a wild connection and exhilarating if explored deeply and sweetly.

Gay tantric massage and Tantra in general, is a great gay portal into the world of connection. Into the innocence and power of the intrinsic healing nature of sexual touch. It’s what we are all longing for … to feel safe, not so alone and connected to another dependable human being.  It doesn’t mean that we have to give up that testosterone fuelled desire to fuck and have wild sex (especially if you are younger) in fact it can mean we can do that with more passion, feeling and excitement.

One of the biggest surprises for me is discovering that couples rarely have eye contact. Think about it … people in relationships and busy in some harmonious flow and co-existence and they never really look at each other. Most just don’t know how … Ask yourself how much eye contact do you make with your fellow man? How aware or comfortable are you with eye contact? It’s not so easy. In my Gay Tantric massage work in the longer sessions we explore this phenomenon.

Eye contact usually is the first strong activity in the art of flirting and seduction. We give so many signals this way – overt and covert. Bringing a little awareness to this powerful communication tool can change the way you find a mate and mate a mate 😉

I will end this blog the same way that I will end every blog by letting you know that your direct experience of tantric massage will surpass any description that mere words can evoke. However, I will try and keep you informed and curious so that you will trust yourself enough to make a booking with me.

Looking forward to getting my hands on you very soon.

Tantra Warms Heart, Soul and all other Extremities ;)

It’s a well known fact that skin on skin keeps you warmer. The inuits sleep naked in their igloos under furs. The skin on skin naked contact during a tantric massage will certainly warm  your heart and soul as well as bring heat and fire to other extremities.

Science is catching up with what many Tantric Massage practitioners have known for years. That without human contact, a hand to hold, someone to hold you, someone for you to hold, someone to curl up in the middle of the night with that humans diminish. They feel disconnected and isolated. A sense of belonging and purpose is whittled away till eventually there is a disconnect. And sometimes this leads to anti-social behaviours.

Science shows that only touch can soothe a stressed nervous system. In sickness and in health we need loving touch. We need sexual energy to be raised in a way that nurtures our species (procreation or the act of) and we need the sexual energy raised to bring a heightened emotional sense of connection.

So many people opt for random anonymous sex and believe this will fulfil the ‘touch’ quota. But science now realises that sex in a very heightened adrenaline state is very different to loving touch. They are both incredibly good for health and well being. But loving human contact is far more nourishing and replenishing. A quickie can bring a fast onset of sleep. But a long session of sexual intimate exchange, like sensual tantric massage, can bring about a deep and satisfying sleep.

I will end this blog the same way that I will end every blog by letting you know that your direct experience of tantric massage will surpass any description that mere words can evoke. However, I will try and keep you informed and curious so that you will trust yourself enough to make a booking with me.


More Affordable Gay Tantric Massage

One of my main goals is to educate Men (gay, straight, bi-sexual, bi-curious) about the ancient art of making love. To become better men we must become better lovers. We must remember how to take care of each other. This is what Tantra teaches from the heart, the sex and the body.

Tantric Massage enhances sexual potency, increases the power of the orgasm and gives a whole body explosive experience. Most of my clients have no idea what their bodies are capable of. With this direct experience of the art of Tantric massage they will realise (as mentioned in earlier blogs) that they can become fantastic lovers. Think about it … a world populated by fantastic satisfied lovers can only make the world a better place. I often say to my clients,

“Perhaps you won’t be able to fuck and have sex like you did when you were twenty years old … But you will be able to make love like you did when you were twenty … when it was all so new and exciting and exhilarating.”

Usually a true tantric massage will cost around $300 per hour. I have reduced my rates so that many more people can experience this rejuvenating and nurturing loving touch.  New Rates

I will end this blog the same way that I will end every blog by letting you know that your direct experience of tantric massage will surpass any description that mere words can evoke. However, I will try and keep you informed and curious so that you will trust yourself enough to make a booking with me.


Why Tantra is The Brand New Ancient Sex

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Think about this … Everything animate on the planet comes from sex. Humans, animals, insects, fish and foul, the birds, the bees, the flowers and trees – everybody is having sex. One sperm and one egg and probably thirty seconds is all it takes to create most animal life. The plant kingdom has a less orgasmic time of it … nevertheless the male and the female are needed to bear fruit.

With the advent of the Internet and the on-demand free soft and hard-core porn we are bombarded with conflicting messages all designed so that we believe a virtual sex life is far more interesting and exciting than we could make reality. More importantly we believe that we can never live up to these impossible standards. With all these visual aids we should all be having amazing connected sex.

Yet certainly not everyone is having great sex or even good sex. Hell – not everyone is having even average sex. Sex is an art form and every single human has the innate ability to become a great artist. You are born with the tools and the skills. All you have to do is remember them and practice. Gay tantric massage gives you a somatic (direct body) experience and helps to jog your ancient memory.

We often feel just so inferior about our bodies and our performance. So we isolate and have a ‘private’ not shared sex life. Masturbation has become the norm. We’re a society of Internet voyeurs. And as the dopamine and adrenalin pump in the brain and the dick it’s all on, it’s amazing, it’s electric, the rush is going to explode – and after it does, when the heart rate settles and the body slows down, it can often feel very empty. We are often left with a relief from the built up exertion of the dopamine and adrenalin fuelled wank rather than a release of tension that the body needs after a busy modern day. It becomes a vicious cycle of addiction.

If we break that empty feeling down we see we are feeling disconnected and alone. It’s unnatural. Sex is meant to be shared. And if it has to be private it also deserves some more connection – connection with yourself. If you are a habitual wanker and use visual stimuli to get off, then try this … masturbate in the dark, no imagery, and that includes no fantasising. Do the tantric practice of just focussing on the body sensations. Disengage the mind and the fantasy movie in your head. Masturbate slowly with steady out-breaths through the mouth. Be slow and deliberate. See the masturbation as a slow and calm stress relief … not a worked-up workout. And if you can slowly edge and pull back from the orgasm that’s also great training. And if you can forgo the raging urge to cum … I promise you you’ll feel more and more energy throughout your days.

So here’s the big secret … Sex is in our DNA, it’s in every cell of our bodies running around our bodies as primal energy. It’s not so elusive … we have an automated self: the life force that regenerates cells, grows and heals everything from out hair, nails, eyelashes to organs etc. This energy never stops even when we ignore it.

Tantra asks us to pay attention to it. This energy is ancient wisdom. It’s millions of years old. It’s been shaping human evolution for eons. We can trust this ancient feeling. Good sex and especially great sex comes from being present, being mindful, listening to the body instincts not over riding them with the mind. It does not always mean slow sex … think about a runner at high speed pounding over rough terrain. He would know exactly where to place each foot. Primal instinct kicks in. It’s an active presence … a ‘doing’ mindfulness. When you are in flow with your partner the sex can become so in synch it does not matter how raunchy it gets.

You might have an idea that Tantra is new … it might be new to you. But it’s as old as the hills. Trust your ancient body wisdom. Trust your body … it took millions of years to get here.

I will end this blog the same way that I will end every blog by letting you know that your direct experience of tantric massage will surpass any description that mere words can evoke. However, I will try and keep you informed and curious so that you will trust yourself enough to make a booking with me.



Rejuvenating Tantric Gay Massage

Tantric massage is holistic body medicine. The cocktail of hormones and chemicals that flood the body; including: dopamine, adrenalin, oxytocin, serotonin, cortisol, dehydroepiandrosterone etc. affect every cell in the body. It’s like giving the body a little electric current. So why is Tantric Massage, or any male to male massage, different from masturbation? And it is different … the body chemistry and biology is different in self-pleasure and shared pleasure.

When a baby is born it instinctively knows two external things: 1) to seek and suckle on a breast and 2) to grasp or hold a finger. We are hardwired for nourishment and connection. When we have deep loving sensual touch from a partner our primal brain is activated. It took millions and millions of year for your body to arrive on the planet. Your DNA knows how to connect and heal.

Sexual arousal involves our circulatory, nervous and muscular systems and of course the brain. It reaches every part of us – including the emotional body. It makes us feel good, loved, seen and appreciated. It’s been known for years that body language is far more important than mere language itself. This applies to touch. Holding someone’s hand speaks volumes … it says; I’m here. You’re safe. You’re not alone. I like you. I need someone too. You Belong.

And yet when we are ill or tired or out of sorts, mutual loving touch goes out the window and masturbation comes in the door. The best thing for someone under the weather, emotionally, physically or psychologically is a great intimate massage. I would suggest that anyone recovering from serious illness or even just the blues or a bout of flu could benefit exponentially with a dynamic Tantric Massage. It can literally perk you up in no time.

Tantric Massage keeps us young … it rejuvenates the body, heart and spirit. Over the years there have been many studies that show that people with active sex lives or who have loving intimate touch and connection live longer, feel younger and are less prone to heart attacks and strokes. Think about it … the mere thought of sex pumps the blood quicker. It’s also designed as a great stress reliever. Well, that seems obvious when we are having an orgasm. But when we feel stressed we seem to forget this and are libido takes a dive. But if you take the pressure of the need to perform … touch and a loving embrace can lower blood pressure and therefore relieves stress.

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Become a Fantastic Lover

Become a FANTASTIC Lover

A tantric massage does more than give you an incredible experience. It actually reawakens a primal knowledge of how to enjoy great sex and become a fantastic lover. Male to male massage, despite the strong sexual images it may conjure, can be medicinal as well as deeply rewarding sexually and emotionally.

Yes tantric massage techniques can make you last longer – increasing stamina and sexual prowess. So therefore tantric massage makes for better sex, better fucking and most importantly a deeper connection when making love.

Science and education have known for many years that the best way to learn something is through experiential practice. In other word letting your mind and body experience something – doing it for your self. In the art of massage it’s easy … you simply let a master take control and trust your body as it opens into the pleasure and joy of touch. No note taking necessary in the early stages. Simply enjoy and your whole body will learn what’s being done to you.

In my longer male-2-male massages there is time for you to have a few minutes practicing on me. I let this happen well after you’ve experienced over an hour of my sensual and erotic touch. Many straight men, bi or curious men come along, as well as the gay clientele. These techniques are predominately interchangeable for men and women. The art is sexual arousal, rhythm, pace and of course control. We take away the rapid highway to orgasm and take the long scenic route.

Of course there is a time and a place for a quickie or a compelling release of tension fuck. But even these can be more powerful and dynamic with the art of tantric sexual massage. Even the basics can help you become a better lover.

The main focus in tantric touch is to be able to feel yourself, your whole body more. The more you can feel your entire body, epidermis to deeper layers within you, the more chance you can feel your partner and be sensitive to their erogenous zones.

And remember, erogenous zones are affected by mood, stress, lack of sleep, diet etc. So you need to tune in to your own personal body-scape as well as your lover’s. Going for tried and tested erogenous zones will make you a lazy and predictable lover. Having sex and making love should be savoured. I often tell clients it’s more about the art of listening and responding.

Tantric lovemaking and sex is not passive … even the person receiving (being penetrated) must be active. It’s a conversation, sometimes subtle and sometimes loud. So look at it as money well spent … you get to receive a sensual massage and you get to learn how to be a great lover. It’s a win win – and we all love a win win.

I will end this blog the same way that I will end every blog by letting you know that your direct experience of tantric massage will surpass any description that mere words can evoke. However, I will try and keep you informed and curious so that you will trust yourself enough to make a booking with me.


This is Enough !!

Gay Tantric sensual and Erotic Massage is powerful. It heals and liberates. It breaks down inhibitions. It frees the soul, the body and the mind. It can change the way you fuck, have sex and make love.

During the gay tantric massage I often tell clients to use the mantra, “This is enough” ­— A technique to keep you in the moment. A mantra is a short statement that encapsulates a larger philosophy. The mantra becomes a part of the experience and a part of your life. It keeps you in the present moment.

Imagine if you were relaxed and fully in your feeling body, your erotic and sensual pleasure body, and you could stay so still that in every moment you could say, “This is enough”. It stops the mind racing towards a goal (normally ejaculation). It prolongs the pleasure and actually heightens the senses and therefore the pleasure.

Imagine that just staying in the body (out of the mind and thought patterns) can make sexual energy more potent and sexual multiple orgasms possible.

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Making Kindness Sexy

kindnessWith the advent of the web we have sex at our fingertips. But mostly that’s where it stays. More and more people are hooked on the adrenalin and dopamine rush of porn. Collectively pornography is one of the most lucrative businesses in the world.  The reason that porn is so successful is that it’s literally addictive. But for most people ejaculation after the intense rush of porn leaves people still dissatisfied. It’s like and itch that just can’t be scratched. The itch is intimacy, connection and dare I say it to love and be loved in return.  Love can be given freely and generously even in a brief encounter. It is the more expansive love I am speaking of – not just romantic love.

Tantric Massage is a safe, sensual and damn sexy experience to reawaken kindness and loving touch.  Why does kindness get such a bad rap? Just holding someone’s hand is a great act of kindness – of course metaphorically as well as physically. When we hold hands a small amount of serotonin and oxytocin are released in the brain (the happy and love hormones respectively). Connection makes human beings feel good. It’s that simple. It’s not speculative … it’s scientific fact. The first thing a baby does is reach for the hand and grip.

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Tantric Massage Vs Tantric Sex – What’s the difference?

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Many people ask me what’s the difference between Tantric Massage and Tantric Sex. It’s a valid question. Massages can be sexy and sexual. And sex can include loving sensual or erotic nurturing touch. I guess the main difference is that when two people are making love or having connected sex they are there to pleasure each other. There is an unspoken contract that both will ‘work’ to fulfil their partner’s desires or needs.


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